Moab Rocks!

We had a great (cancer free) weekend! We did a lot of jeepin', swimming, and a small amount of hiking in there! The jeeping scared the tumors out of me and I thought for sure we were going to role the thing! Fortunately, the only damage I received from the craziness was a broken nail and sun burnt toes! The only reason we returned to Denver was because I forgot to order up my anti emetics and to prepare for chemo tomorrow. How is it I go from playing on the sand hills with my girls to having chemo and feeling like crap again. How strange it is to feel cancer free for only a few days! Good ole fashion family time.....just what the doctor ordered! Pray for a smooth treatment tomorrow.

A grrr moment....

Yesterday I was in such a funk I chose not to blog. I didn't have anything good to say....can you believe that? John says I have a right to be grumpy, irritable and sad atleast one day out of the month......and I haven't even utilized those! I don't agree with him. There have been many nights I have kept him up till 3 or 4 with my worries. They should count for something......John had a stomach bug causing the works including the temperature and it set me into a complete tizzy. It is not like he went out to a public place and said, " Ok now, someone needs to barf all over me so I can get sick and bring it home to my wife." The truth of it all is it scared me to death! My white count was sitting at a 3 on Friday and I am now hitting my Nader point in my chemo which causes that to drop more. So, if I caught a stomach flu at this point it would put me in the hospital. Now we all know how much I love staying in the hospital.....especially over spring breaks and holidays. I didn't want to make this a habit, ya know? The germx came out, mask and gloves went on, and Lysol came out. John kindly stayed in one room of the house using only one restroom in attempt to make the rest of the house safe for me. And I started to clean. Interesting how much I get done when I am not happy about something.....it's therapeutic. John is off to work today and feeling much better and I am calmer. What more can I ask for? Oh! I know! A weekend away with the family? If everything goes smooth, we are going to Moab for 2 nights to enjoy the sun and do alittle hiking. I can't wait! I need a break from this cancer and this is just the thing. Don't worry....I'll be back for chemo on Wednesday.......if you're lucky! ;)

Long time, no post...

I know it has been quite a few days since my last post. I have a good excuse for that......my fingers hurt too much to type. Lame, but true. So, here is a quick breakdown of chemo week from $%#@.
Wednesday-came home from chemo and went down hill quick. Very nausiated...
Thursday-comtinued to be very nausiated. Neuropathy beginning to set in. Only in my hands this time(praise God on that one)!
Friday-woke up with a refreshing sinus infection(that's what I thought, anyway). It continued to get worse with shooting pain behind my left eye. I called my oncologist to see if they wanted to start antibiotics and Advil sinus/cold. he said "No. Go to the ER. " "What? Really? Come on!" Apparently when you are receiving chemo and you come down with any unusual ailment.....you go to the ER. What a waisted Friday evening.... I felt absolutely silly telling them I was there for a sinus infection and shooting pain behind my eye and they looked at me like I was crazy or something. Which I am, but that's beside the point. Then we talked chemo and everything started to move quickly. After a head cat scan, eye pressure exam, blood cultures and all kinds of other blood work....I was sent home with Antibiotics for a sinus infection. Hmmmm.
Saturday-ER called to see if I would come in for a follow up. How many ER's do that? I said no. My eye pain switch to my right and my nose continued to ruuuuun! I told them I could handle that and nothing more. Hands hurt like %$#@. So, I started wearing big, fat, ugly black mittens to control the pain. Lovely.
Sunday-Nausea is gone with the help of drugs and Pregipops. Woo hoo! Hands still hurt and mittens remain on. I love these mittens.
Monday-sinus infection rages on and fingers still tingle. Oh well! Yet another chemo therapy done! That is a blessing in itself.

Yay chemo day!

Blast those tumors! Unfortunately, I lost those three pounds I worked so hard for during the session before. I guess I need to go back to the buffets for lunch......and Super Salad does NOT count. Everything else looked good including lab work. Chemo went well today! I had a nice lunch date and got my but whopped in Yahtzee! Can you believe that? She didn't let me win! And then I took a little snoozer. My cramps settled in just as quickly as normal. My hand and foot pain came early.......maybe it will end early? There is always hope. I have nose bleeds every single morning and some in the afternoon......just had one that is what made me think of it! Strangely so, I never shared this with my nurse or doctor until today. I almost considered it as a normal part of my life and not a side effect. Isn't that strange? Avastin can cause severe bleeding.....probably should have shared earlier. I got busted though. Last chemo session I wanted to go to a movie and my pump started to do it's chirping thing. It chirps LOW before the final screech. We were at Target when that started. I said, "Lets go home to disconnect this pump so it doesn't go off during the movie. " It chirped a couple more times, I disconnected it, flushed my line and disposed of my sharp then off to the movie. Today I asked my nurse how long it generally chirps before the final screech and she said about 2 hours. I told her the story and she said, " We already kinda new you disconnected early...." What? There were 4cc's left in the pump meaning at least 2 hours of infusion. They checked. Oh......ok. I guess I better be on my best behavior from now on! Signing off! Love you all!

Lifes irony

Hey! Sorry I have not posted in a few days. I have been keeping very busy trying to get some work things done, enjoying my family and friends, and playing in the sun. I feel like I have to squeeze in so much before I get chemo-drain again. This chemo thing is definitely botching my social calendar! I am not looking forward to being knocked down for five days, but it sure is easier knowing it is WORKING! Bye bye tumors!
By the way, I have to share some irony. The other day an old friend spontaneously stopped by with her two little boys. All three walked in carrying three different types of cactus's. I really enjoyed the visit and loved catching up with normal family life crap. After they left, I sat and looked at the cactus's. It was captivating! I could totally "relate" to the cactus's. What is wrong with me? I stared at those prickly, poky little things and thought how well they represented my journey. All three different sizes......one actually the size and shape of a softball.....hmmmmm. I thought to myself, "I would have a better chance killing the tumors than these cactus's!" HA! :) On each cactus there was some sort of flower blooming through the poky, spiny things. Those flowers seemed to represent......something. I am not sure. But I kept looking at them thinking how amazing they were. They bloomed so beautiful through such a treacherous landscape and all I could think was that I hope I can do the same. That's all it is really.....just landscape.

Wow! What a day!

It is simply amazing how even great news can wear you out. I woke up yesterday focused on trying to clean my house. An hour into it I actually cried realizing how much I had let it go....sorry to those who have had to be exposed to my filth. Then I trudged forth and got quite a bit done. You can come over now! ;) But where did those tears come from? I think I just finally let the news sink in and realized that I am going to live another day.....to clean my house :) which is OK to me. By 11:00 I crashed from exhaustion so I showered thinking it would rejuvenate me. Instead it relaxed me and I HAD to take a nap! When I woke up I took the kids to the Ridge to swim and I hit the therapy pool for a half hour of exercise......water aerobics here I come! I think those ladies would actually whoop all over me I am so slow and weak! grrrrrr! Just give me some more time....Today I worked some more on work stuff and did my BLS recert, then went for lunch with a friend. What a beautiful day it is! The kids came home thinking they could turn the TV on. HA! I locked them outside and told them to play. They asked with what? The dirt.......just don't dig up my tulips. I am so ready for summer!

Results Day

I went to work this morning to attempt to get caught up on all my competencies and skills fair stuff. It is always great to see everyone and I feel so accomplished today. But i am sure that is not why you are reading this right now. At 1:15 John and I went to see the doctor. The gal who checked me in was very pleased to see I gained two pounds (so was I) and that my vitals signs were all good. She then took us to our room and we sat.....and sat and while we sat I ate my lunch. Once my tummy was pleasantly full, theeee doctor poked his head in and said, "I am so backed up with patients today.....would you mind if we schedule this for two weeks out?" I said, "Nooooooooo way! Get your butt in hear!" We had a decent chuckle and then he continued to tell me that he couldn't be more pleased about the results. I said, "Really?" He said, "Really!" My smallest tumor was MIA (which is ok with me....bye!). My middle size tumor has shrunk by 55% and the sugar uptake has decreased by 75%(which means he is starving to death.....hee, hee). And the monster tumor has shrunk by 35% and the sugar uptake by 50% (not feeling sorry for him either). I am so grateful for all the prayers out there. God is great and merciful. As far as I am concerned, what has been happening in my life is nothing short of a miracle! Praise Him!