Oh Boy!

After a jam packed morning with Bible study and a nice impromptu birthday lunch, I came home to take a nap. I wasn't truly quite tired but I wanted to rest before my birthday dinner with my husband. I walked into my house and about fell over. "No, no, no, no! This is not happening!" I kept saying this as I continued to inspect the rest of the house. "No, no, no!!!" My sweet, loving, beautiful chocolate lab had accomplish what no other dog has. There was diarrhea EVERYWHERE! All through the living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. By God's grace, she did not make it up the stairs.......yet. After opening all the windows (thank God again it wasn't snowing outside) I began the prep work so that when John got home he could clean it up. Pull out the carpet cleaner, set pots of water to boil, bucket, pail and sponge, and the big gun......bleach. Is it ok to use bleach in a carpet cleaner on carpet? Hmmmm. I don't care....love that bleach. Most of you know, because of the chemo, I am not supposed to handle animal feces. Hence, leaving the dirty job to him. Luckily, I already have a vet appointment for her at 10 tomorrow.
Then we got gussied up, Anna came over to watch the kids and we went out to dinner. John had made reservations "somewhere" for my birthday. I was looking forward to a nice dinner, yummy food, in an adult environment. John pulled up to the restaurant and all I could do was giggle. The Chop House? Are you serious? Cliff note: my twin is coming into town and a bunch of my girls are meeting us at the Chop House on Saturday for appetizers and drinks. Granted, I was not going to pass up a full meal there. It was amazing! I ate till I looked 3 months pregnant! I came home really tired but now I can't sleep. So, I figure it was a good time to get caught up on emails only to find one addressed from one of the kids teachers. Oh Boy! Witnessed behavior so bad that she lost recess, lunch in the lunch room and was sentenced to community service. Oh! How interesting this has made my morning! Somebody is going to get it........I have to pray that the right words will flow from my mouth to demonstrate my disappointment and encourage behavioral improvement. Now, I am really tired. I'm going to bed. Good night all!

sweet memories!

It is yet another beautiful Colorado morning although it is supposed to rain this afternoon and then snow for the next 17. Go figure! I had such a horrible night of sleep thanks to my neuropathy in my feet. Not so sure what got them all fired up last night.......but it sucked, I tell you! I usually sleep with socks on because of the neuropathy but last night I couldn't stand to have anything touching them.....very weird!
As the mean mom, I made the girls clean their rooms yesterday. For their reward they got to get together with a friend and have a sleep over. Sierra went out for hers and Saige had her guest here. These girls played horse's all evening. Do you remember the old school horses? I played with these when I was a kid! I loved them and love to see two little girls (in such a techy world) play with them for hours. What imagination! Saige has eighteen of these horses. Some of them bought for her and others handed down from daddy. What memories! I remember going to my Aunt's house when she lived on the river. In the toy bin she kept for us was one of these horses. My favorite toy there....good memory. Well, on that note maybe I can catch a nap and dream about some of these memories....yay!

memories

On my mantel is my collection of memories. Memories of babies being born, children growing up, weddings, camping trips, hiking 14ers, playing in creeks. I could go on and on. I generally take these down for Christmas decorating and then place them back up there after the new year. Well, if you think I am a slacker in the blog world, you will be happy to know that I just pulled those out yesterday and placed them back up on the mantel. Then I cried. How is it that there is a picture of me on a huge boulder of Mount Holy Cross and three months later I am in the hospital, diagnosed with cancer, fighting for my life, 20 pounds lighter with muscle atrophy? I have to be honest with you all. I really miss that strong, healthy body. Don't get me wrong. I am very blessed with the health I have. I am grateful for every chance I get to be out enjoying friends and family. And on most days I am very accepting of the symptoms I deal with on a daily basis. It's just a new way of living and I work around it, right? I mean, lets face it. I haven't blogged in ten days. And I know it tends to worry you, but I was really out enjoying life....and isn't that better than sitting here focused on cancer?
I don't have a lot to report. I have chemo on Wednesday again. They will infuse the Oxolyplatin and then I will go on the fourteen day regimen of Xeloda. After the full treatment there should be a CT. I have been feeling mostly good. Appetite has been off and neuropathy is.......I'm ready for summer. Other than that, energy is good. I hope you all have a happy Valentines Day! I plan on eating cake!

busy, busy, busy!

Ok. I know. One day you find out I have my own class room of kindergartners in my lungs and the I just fall off the face of the earth! Not a very good friend, am I? Well, quick synopsis of what has happened since then:
Chemo on Tuesday, up with Saige at 3 am with barfing and stomach pain Wednesday morning, positive strep test done by 8 am and in my ACLS class by 10 am. I was picked up for ACLS on Thursday and very much appreciated the ride home.....I was so very tired by this point. Friday I got up and took the kids to school only to return to my bed and sleep the day away. Got up at 2 pm and by three started to demonstrate chemo side effects that drained me of any hydration left in my body........in a very, very wrong way. By 6 pm I sucked it up and went for fluids at the urgent care unit. I spunked up slowly on Saturday and was able to get the kids out of the house by 2 pm to go to the book store and then get something to eat. WOW! What a week! Hence the reason I didn't have the time to blog. Forgive me? I'm a busy girl!
I worked on Monday and then the freeze came in. Schools closed for two days now and the kids are stir crazy. Calgon! Take me away! Hope you are all staying warm!

Crap!

Well, this most certainly ranks right up there as one of the suckiest days ever! That is of course minus the company, Pho, and cinnabon! Yup. It sucks. Not sure if that is strong enough of a word to describe it. I am sure you all can be much more creative and donate some better adjectives. Let's see. My CT results sucked. My tumor in my liver went from a 10 cm tumor to a 12 cm tumor. You know, he is getting to the point that I will not be able to find shoes for. My lung tumors? We lost count at 18 "suspicious" marble shaped things. I swear I am living in the twilight zone! So, no chemo today. We are starting a new/old treatment tomorrow. You guessed it! I am starting oxolyplatin as my infusion and Xeloda as an oral chemo. Oh yes, you guessed it again! You all get to hear all about my hands and feet again! Lucky dogs......He wanted to start it on Wednesday. I told him Wednesday would be difficult since I have ACLS......would you be willing to start it tomorrow? Sure. So, here we go gang! As Dorry would say.......just keep swimming, just keep swimming. I'm gonna go eat something cold....because I can! Love you all!

no, I did not go missing ;-)

I my gosh! It has been forever since I have blogged! I didn't realize until someone pointed it out to me......so sorry! Since that blog I have had chemo, which once again, really isn't too bad. my back pain has mostly resolved....thank God! I got a doctors release to actually get a massage. They wouldn't do it in case they actually spread the cancer by rubbing my back....HA! Give a break! Really! I am more worried about the lotion they use on my poor, sensitive skin. My sister and niece came out to visit. Very fun! We all had a great time! I will confide in one moment that was very difficult for me. My niece had mentioned she had a pretty formal eighth grade graduation ceremony in the spring. So I suggested, for fun, to all take her to a dress shop and have her try on dresses so that she (and her mother) could get an idea of what would work for this big shin-dig. After dress number 25 it hit me that I may not be here to take my own girls shopping like this. Ouch! Did this hurt! I actually had to leave the dress shop to regain composure.
So, here is the deal. I am meeting with a woman from Texas on Friday to discuss what she calls "cherry picking" our care. She is a twelve year survivor of stage four colon cancer and has basically directed her own care through mets to liver, lungs, and brain. I receive my CT scan results on Monday and begin a new phase of planning.
In the mean time I did my PALS class this week and ACLS next week and schedule my first couple of shifts the week after. I am excited to get back to work. Call me crazy! Know that you are all such blessing to me! God bless you all!

Happy New Year 2011!

I know....I'm slacking. As a family we spent a couple of days in a hotel before New Years. Had a great dinner at Nono's, the kids enjoyed the pool and I enjoyed not having to clean up after everyone. I just want some sweet little lady to come in daily to make my bed.....that would be nice! We then went up to Glenwood Springs for the weekend. The kids had a blast running, playing games, going sledding and eating ice cream every night. Lucky Dogs! I absolutely enjoyed the company, food and trip to the hot springs. I even enjoyed getting our (girls against the boys) tooshies handed to us on a platter during our Trivia pursuit game. Haven't laughed that hard in a very long time!
We returned from Glenwood Sunday night and used the next two days to get ready for school to start. The girls were pretty excited to get back to school to see their teachers and friends. I was ready for some down time. My lower back has been killing me and my body needed some extra sleep. I took advantage of nap time and heated up my teddy bear to put on my back. It has been really bothering me since Sunday and I don't quite know why. It has actually taken all week to get Christmas decorations packed up. Pathetic.
So here is the plan....I think I will receive two or three more treatments and then a PET scan. That's it! Cancer news is not so exciting. Still have mild rash on my face and chest and I battle fatigue all over my body. Other than that, this is a piece of cake! Better news, I am doing my ACLS and PALS at the end of this month and then back to work! I am looking forward to seeing my girls and boy and caring for others in a way you all have cared for me. Hope you all had a great New Year! Love out to you all!