PET scan results

First, and most importantly, I had by far the best Thanksgiving ever!!!!All my siblings were together for a holiday dinner for the first time in over twenty years! Can you believe that?! We cooked mega amounts of food, ate till we puked and then ate some more. We played games, hung out, put the kids to bed and then watched a late movie. It was so nice having everyone here, I wish we could all do it again........Christa came in on Friday and stayed till Friday and Mike, Lilian and Niels came in on Tuesday and stayed till Saturday. For having such a small house and smaller water heater, it went smooth as silk! I am the most blessed and love girl in the whole world!
I suppose we need to get to the inevitable......my PET scan. I am not sure I am much of a fan of Pet scans anymore. Look at it this way. If you had a choice of seeing the world through only your eyes or seeing it through only what's in your heart.......what would you choose? I have to say I like how my heart sees the world and I would stick with that! In that world I was doing well. In that world I was healing and the one tumor in my liver became a pet that just needed to be tamed. In that world I am feeling stronger everyday and was considering going back to the gym more. In that world my friends, loved ones, family saw me and my heart.....not my cancer. My PET scan obviously does not understand my desire to stay in that world. PET scans only have eyes.......no heart. This heartless scanner saw my liver tumor and said, "Whoa! That thing is growing like a weed! How amazing that it can grow three extra centimeters in just a matter of weeks? What ya feeding that kid?" And then his eyes got REALLY big and he said, "Looky there! That thing is reproducing! Look at all five of them, aren't they just adorable? Good thing they are building a new home for all those little rug rats! And just think, the lung is a more up scale community anyway! Lucky dogs!" I know.....sick humor. Fine then! Pray for my twisted sense of humor and throw in an extra one for a miracle. Love you all!

PET scan

Went for my PET scan this morning. Well, more like afternoon. I walked into Rocky Mountain cancer center and nearly ran into a table full of yummy looking cookies. Cookies? On PET scan day? I hollered across the lobby to Christine, the receptionist/scheduler, that I found nothing funny about those cookies greeting me! I have not eaten anything since the night before and I was starving! I was begging for my barium just to get something on my tummy. She laughed......I really enjoyed my PET scan. Drank my barium with pleasure, port access simple as can be and then pumped full of nuclear med which made me feel really warm and fuzzy!
So, now it is done and all I can think about is all the food I am going to eat this week. I love Thanksgiving! I love having my house full of loved ones, eating good food, enjoying each others company, playing games (that I intend to win). This is the start of my favorite time of year! Oh! And not to brag, but I don't have to worry about putting on the extra holiday weight. Infact, I will welcome them! The pro's of having cancer. Hee, hee!
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving week!

Love that chemo!

I am sitting here counting down the beeps on my pump till it squawks at me. As soon as I can disconnect this dumb thing I can get a quick shower the go for fluids, neulastin and get something more for my nausea. My mouth tastes....gross. My nausea is....there and the other end is not happy either. I love the in's and out's of my life (body).
Had a long talk with Dr. Jotte about the other treatments I suggested earlier. He was extremely open to the ideas but had some of his own as well. Unfortunately, none of them can be done till we get my systemic micro cancer cells back under control. That is why we are doing chemo now then targeted treatment later. On Monday I go in for my PET scan and then the Monday after Thanksgiving I will receive results and plan of action that is appropriate. He has already talked to Dr. Nutting about doing portal vein embolization and is wanting to do cyberknife second generation. He made a great point of not rushing ahead of ourselves with desperate decisions. That is where cancer patients can get into trouble. I get that!
I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving with family. My sister flies in on Friday and is staying till Tuesday and my brother and his family will be here Monday till the weekend. We are planning a huge feast as usual and I plan on eating all of it! John is smoking the turkey which is my favorite way to have it cooked. Black Friday I am hoping we can work on Christmas decorations. I have always disliked Black Friday, but now I absolutely hate it with a passion. That is the day I was diagnosed.....not a whole lot of good memories for that day. To be honest with you, I don't remember much after 10;45 am that morning. The only memory I have is of the doctor telling me and then staying up till 1:00 am to drink that nasty Golytely. Yuck! Pray for strength for me and my family as we scoot through this really dumb day. I do have to say this! I am so blessed to get another holiday season to spend with my family. I am blessed that I am still alive and I am blessed to have so many people love me. You do love me, right? Regardless, I love you all.

Grrrr!

I have just made several phone calls to every single pharmacy in the city and found that not ONE of them carries Granisetron 1mg NDC 00093748512. They all have to have it specially ordered in. Why does this matter? This is my Kytril....my life line during chemo....I called it in to Walgreen's on Thursday and they say that the chance of them getting it in by Monday morning is very slim. Slim. Hate that word. I begin to take this medication on Sunday night, by the way. I am ready to kill someone. Oh, that is illegal. Maybe I will just cry instead. Nah! That's getting old. Maybe I should take my aggression out on the WII fitness again. A little hula hoop anyone? I will so kick your but! OK, lesson learned. I will call this in on Monday....give them some extra time.
On a more positive note, the girls had sleepovers last night. It was a lot of fun! We had pizza, soda, and ice cream. All very good. We then watched Ramona and Beezas. What a super cute movie! I could totally connect with the movie since I have a Ramona and Beezas.....in the same order as well. The kids were up till after eleven and up early. Trust me! mine will be in bed early tonight! Hope you all are having a great weekend! Love out to you all!

Quote for the day

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass......it's about learning how to dance in the rain!"

Read this quote today and had to share it with you! This is how I have been able to manage through all the crap, yet not able to put it in words quite so eloquently. I am not the only one amongst us that is dealing with a crappy situation and I have never been one to think my crap trumps your crap. There's the marriage crap, the work crap, the family dynamics crap. We can add in there the thoughtless driver crap, the mean lady crap and all the political crap. Through all this crap.....let's dance! Just make sure you avoid stepping in the dog crap ;-).

Good times!

Our family disapeared off the grid....just for a few days, but it was exactly what we needed! A friend of mine offered her beautiful cabin in Fairplay for the weekend and others set up meals to make the trip easy and relaxing. In three days and two nights I learned the new meaning of lazy! It was awesome! We went up there and ate lots of food, sat by the fire at night, slept in in the mornings, enjoyed the hot tub and did a bit of exploring of the area. The weather was amazing! I spent plenty of time sitting on the deck enjoying the quietness of the place. Careful......we might move in permanently! The girls certainly did not want to come home.....don't blame them really.
Today......back to reality. Paying bills, doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen. Fun, fun! Oh well! Anything is better than chemo, right? Oh yah!
I can honestly say I am afraid of this week. It is actually going to be cold and snowy, yikes! When we were in Fairplay, we drove to the top of the pass between Alma and Breckenridge and then took a four wheel road up higher just so the girls could play in the snow. While the sun felt incredible up there, the snow under my feet caused an enormous amount of pain. Wow! Huge reality check of how the cold will effect my neuropathy. Well, out comes the snow boots and wool socks! Don't be laughing at me when you see me out on a cold, non snowy day wearing winter boots and snow pants! I may have to karate chop you in your liver......or something like that! Because my CEA's went up last week, we are looking into other treatments. I will be scanned after my next chemo session. Whether it is a PET scan or a CT scan, we're still duking that one out. I am pushing for a PET so pray for that. I have also brought Proton therapy and cyberknife to the attention of my oncologist. Cyberknife I can do here but the Proton therapy I will have to be away from my family for 5-7 weeks. Whatever works, right? Keep us in your prayers for wisdom and guidance. God bless you all!

quite the rollar coaster

Another round of chemo completed. Yay for that! It wasn't too, too bad. Really.....I went in Wednesday for extra fluids and anti nausea meds and found that my blood pressure was only 80/42 and my temperature was 101.4. Can we say shoot?!!! After my hydration therapy my blood pressure came up nicely but my temperature stayed the same. We are all in agreement that they are tumor related. This does not make me to happy. I have some good news though! My liver enzymes are holding strong, so my liver seems to remain semi healthy. More bad news though. I lost 4 pounds this last two weeks. Must have shed them with all those crazy night sweats (menopause already?) and fevers I've been having......who knows. I sure am eating well. I think so anyway. I went for a cheeseburger at Mc Donalds and am probably the only one ever in the history of man kind to count the calories, fat and protein to make sure I get enough! Good news, I feel great! I am actually very surprised by this. My energy level is up and I am sleeping a bit better. More bad news though. My CEA's (tumor markers) went up this week from 85 to 105. This is very disheartening and makes me question the effectiveness of the chemo I am receiving at this point. I just found this out today and am just trying to remain positive. It's only a stupid number....right!? I am not a number!! Good news, the four of us have been given a great gift of a minnie vacation in Fairplay. This is needed so much. The stress of sitting around here and wondering whats next is pretty thick. So, we are going to take this time and come together as a family and just enjoy ourselves. Prayers needed for guidance, wisdom and strength. Both for the doctors and myself. Love out to you all!