change of plans.....

My how things can change so quickly. My appointment has been canceled with Dr. Nutting for Monday and now I am scheduled for ablation on Tuesday afternoon. I am not all that excited about this. Really. Do I feel anybody understands this. No. I can't seem to wrap my brain around it.....guess I need to get on board quickly!
It is strange to me that with every procedure there comes a wave of reminders that I am fighting cancer. I know that sounds crazy, but when I am keeping busy with kids and life, I tend to drift into a bit of denial. It sure is a lovely place to be! Unfortunately, bi-weekly I am reminded that I have to continue to go through more crap and I take a ride on the emotional roller coaster. You would think this is second nature by now! So, to get myself out of this funk I am going to revisit the top ten things to be grateful for. Warning: there have been changes!
1) God (obvious)
2) My family and friends (another obvious)
3) My dog, cat, and little tiny hamster (oh yah, love that guy)
4) Food (need I say more?)
5) Sun (it makes me happy)/ rain (because it smells good)
6) Laughter (doesn't everybody?)
7) The people I work with (not sure why, but they actually let me come to work)
8) Food (yes, this one deserves to be repeated!)
9) Hiking
10) Heart shaped rocks......
Hope all is well with everyone! Please say a little prayer for me on Tuesday.....thank you!

Mesa Varde

I promised some pictures from the trip....It was a great weekend, all in all. We certainly did end it with a bang! Literally! We had packed up the jeep, checked out of the hotel and went to get gas. We planned on spending the day in Durango and then getting a hotel closer to home to ease the 9 hour drive. Low and behold, less than a mile from town we heard a BANG and then a clankity clank clank. The jeep came to a screeching halt and John had lost all control of steering wheel and jeep in general. Bottom line....the gears fell apart and the jeep locked up. It was not in any shape to make the treck to Denver. We were left with three choices: 1)leave it there at a shop and rent a vehicle to get home and then drive back to pick it up, 2) have a tow truck tow it back to Denver for the low price of 1500.00, 3) haul it home yourself with a uhaul truck and trailer for 600.00. What do you think we chose? So, we get this uhaul truck and drive 9 hours in a vehicle that had only three seats. Cozy! Lets now count our blessings: 1) we weren't going 70 mph with a vehicle trailing us, 2) no one was hurt and 3) we got our baby blue home safely! God is good! Good ole fashion family fun, I tell you!

On a cancer note, I have really been feeling great! The only issue I am dealing with is my lovely neuropathy, causing a lot of numbness and tingling. I went to see Dr. Jotte yesterday and he said (again) that it will worsen before it gets better and it may take months and months before I see improvements....hmmmm. He suggested an MRI to check my spine again because when I nod yes, I have numbness and tingling shoot down the front of me to my toes and my butt is numb. I, on the other hand suggested to say NO instead and to see a chiropractor...he seemed ok with that. I went and saw one after the appointment with Jotte. He specializes in neuropathy and feels (strongly) that he can help me. Keeping my numb fingers crossed. I don't see Dr. Nutting till Monday now and we will plan the ablation that day. And my nezt (don't have a functioning letter on my key board) PET scan is in four weeks. So many fun things planned.....I don't know what to do with myself!

vacation time

On Wednesday I picked up my kids and we all headed down to Mesa Verde for a little family vacation. How nice it is to get away from it all! If you haven't been down here, put it on your list of musts! The tours were great and the cliff dwellings were amazing! I will post some pictures as soon as I get home. We also drove the 40 miles (or so) to get to four corners monument only to be turned away. Just a side note....they are closed due to construction. So, don't go there. A sign to that aspect would have been nice.....40 miles ago!
We plan on returning on Sunday and then I have a lovely week full of doctors appointments. I think they just want my money.......it's all a conspiracy! Oh well....Maybe this would be a good time to ask them why my fingers are getting worse?! And why my feet are asleep ALL THE TIME?! Keep you posted!

Doing great!

Did I really have Yttrium-90 placed in my liver? I don't think sooooo. It's all a dream, I think. I can't believe that he followed Cynthia's orders of giving me the beads and keeping his laundry list of side effects and symptoms. I appreciate that! I can't believe how great I feel. Thursday I stayed on bed rest, just as the doctor ordered. Yesterday, I did a little shopping for some tops....don't worry, I avoided children and women as much as possible. Today I hiked lair O' the bear and had lunch in an empty restaurant (works for me). I did take a nap this afternoon, which was much needed, but all in all I feel very blessed with the outcome, so far.
My kids are still away. If I felt crappy, I probably wouldn't miss them. But since I feel so good, I actually miss those little buggers. They are having such a good time that when I call, they don't want to talk to me. How could that be? ;>) I am so glad they are enjoying their time with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends.
Thanks for the many prayers! I couldn't feel this great with out them. God is great!

Phase two complete!

Today was theeeee day to have my Sir-spheres placed. There were so many people in the interventional radiology room, I though we were having a party.........for meeeee! Nope! That was not the case at all. A small group was there from out of town to watch the procedure done by Dr. Nutting. He is the best you know. And I am a great science project!
The procedure went much like Tuesdays where he inserted the catheter, placed the Yttrium-90 beads with intermittent dye to make sure they were going in the right area and not spilling over into others. It all seemed to go smooth as silk! My recovery went well to. Got back to my room and chowed on candy, french toast, bacon and fruit! I was a little bit more tired this time, but I also received a touch more sedation as well.
I feel great today. I am so grateful for all the prayers and kind words. I am feeling the love......and love cures! Thank you!

Phase one complete

Phase one of Sir-spheres is complete! It went so well and I have received the green light to go ahead on Thursday. Today Dr. Nutting placed a catheter, under conscious sedation, into my artery in my groin. Then threaded it up to my liver to shoot some dye into it. This made it easy for him to map out my arteries and veins for Thursday. He also found some shunting to my stomach, therefore, placed coils to close that artery. This is to keep the beads in my liver and not hanging out wreaking havoc on my stomach. The entire staff was amazing! I can't believe how smooth everything went!
I was then recovered and sent home with no problems. I laughed when they said I needed to remain on bed rest for the rest of the day(with bathroom privileges). How could this be? I have stuff to do and I feel great! I came home, ate some lunch soon to realize I couldn't keep my eyes open. I crashed and burned for a couple of hours and woke with some soreness. I guess doctor knows best........

All is well!

I know I haven't posted in a while. I want you all to know I am doing well. I am just taking this time to enjoy the normal things in life. I have been spending lots of time with the kids doing fun kid stuff. I went to work for a princess shift on Friday, which was really fun! I have been trying to stay up on laundry and house hold stuff before I have to send my kids off to Glennwood and Junction. That is where they will be going when I am radio-active. This is a good thing since my youngest will not get the whole six foot thing unless I barricade myself in my room.......not going to happen!
As I head into this week, I feel more and more like a science project;>). I will keep you all posted on my Sir-spheres expedition......especially for those nerdy folks that want to hook me up to light bulbs and fuses........and actually find Yttrium-90 fascinating :>). Love out to you all!

Here's the plan

Houston, we have a plan! I met with Dr. Nutting this morning, yet another amazing doctor, and we have set the plan in motion. He spent an hour going over my PET scans and the treatment options and what he felt was good for me.
On Tuesday the 14th of July, I go in to the hospital at 6:00am(I know, not a pretty site) and have my mapping done. That should take about 4-6 hours when all is said and done.This mapping is of the veins and arteries of my liver to make sure there aren't major ones that go to any other organ. If he finds any, he blocks them so the Sir-Spheres filled with Yttrium-90 don't go into these other organs, which would result in dammage. (Yah, had to go there. Some big vocabullary words for you and they are actually spelled right!) Don't feel bad......I coppied them from the brochure I recieved;>).
Then on July 16th, I go back to the hospital (at 6am) and have the actual procedure done. Should take about 4-6 hours again and they send me home to recuperate. The side effects include:abdominal pain, nausea, fever and fatigue. Hmmmm. Not me! I will pass on all of those. So, place your lovely Sir-Spheres and keep your side effects. Oh! I forgot one major thing! I will be radio-active for six days! Six days? Adults can't be within arms length for more than 30minutes and children can come within six feet (with the exception of the occasional hug, he said). Please imagine keeping my 7 year old away from me like that. Funny.......they both will be shipped off......far, far away. Glennwood sounds good........I think we should save our money on fireworks, instead putting me on the roof for all the kids to see. Look at me.....I'm glowing!
After I recuperate from this, he will take me back in to ablate the small tumor. This is where they stick a needle the size of Texas through my belly to the liver and ultimately the tumor, and heat it to some ungodly temperature (100-140 Celsius) to kill it. Zap! Don't have a date for this yet, nor the surgery. Will keep you posted. Have a wonderful Fourth of July.....Be safe out there.