feeling pretty yucky

Went in yesterday hoping we were done with chemo......wishful thinking! PET scan results were good...but not good enough. They want to do four more round of chemo and then another PET scan. Been doing a lot of sleeping this round and very nauseated. About the PET scan. The one tumor that was not visible the last time s now considered gone. The one then is in the left lobe started at 5cm, went to 2.5cm and is now 9mm with zero sugar uptake. The large one on my right lobe is shrinking but not quite ready for resecting. Disappointing bet not surprising....I suppose.

Are you kidding me?!

Yesterday I went with the family and sisters to hike up the flat irons to the Royal Arch. It was an amazing hike.....highly recommended! It is two miles in and two miles out with 1400 feet elevation gain....rough on the quads but I did it! It seemed to be an amazing accomplishment...for everyone! Then we went to Mountain Sun Pub for dinner and I had my first beer in a looooong time. I think I drank a total of a 16oz and was loooooopy! That night, when I went to bed, I realized my PET sacn was in the morning. I am not supposed to do any exercise WHAT SO EVER the day before a PET scan. What a doober I am! So, I went this morning and told the receptionist to talk to the scanner dude and let him know I did the hike. They asked, "Was it a nice afternoon stroll or and actual hike hike?" I informed them I climbed 1400 feet in a matter of two miles and then had to hike out......my legs are sore. They informed the scanner dude. The scanner dude informed the radiologist (who was not happy) and they all came to the waiting area to let me know that we would go ahead with the scan. Yay! I drank my barium, they then injected me with the medicine that makes my tumors glow then I was informed that I could not move a single muscle for one hour......that's 60 minutes! When was the last time you saw me sit still for 60 minutes? I wasn't even aloud to read my book (turning the pages was too strenuous I guess). Afterward, I went to lunch then shopping at REI(bought nothing) and then back to see Dr. Blake for my post-op appointment. We talked about many things that are going on with my body (I will save you the details) and then we talked about seeing a geneticist to be tested for Lynch syndrome because of my family history and age of diagnoses. They will test me for three specific genes and if one of them occur in me then my whole family will need to be tested and my preventative care will change DRAMATICALLY! Once again, I will not bore you with details but this Lynch syndrome is only a precursor to more cancer......are you kidding me?! Fortunately, as few as 5% of colon cancer patients carry one of these genes. I am not going to be one of those.....
Went to see Date Night tonight with my sister.....laughed so hard almost peed my pants. It is now 10:29 pm....cat is sleeping, dog is crashed and so should I. Love out to you all!

Read warning first-tough read.

I will pre-warn all of you.....I am going to talk about a couple of books in this blog. So if you are an avid reader, don't read this. I plan on giving the end away on both of them....or at least a big chunk of it.

So, I read this book called The Last Song (a lovely gift from a couple of friends) and did fine till the last 30 pages or so. It took me four days just to get through those since it is imposable to read through tears. The father in the story dies from cancer......Then, I read another book called Leota's Garden and in the end the dear, sweet grandmother starts to die from cancer. Gettin the theme? Now, my girls and I have a tradition. Since season one of the Biggest Loser we have curled up on the couch and watched it together. We would pick teams and cheer for them. Anyone watch it last night? If you haven't, stop reading here. Oneal's brother passed away because of cancer. While he was explaining this Saige (my six year old) looked straight at me and asked me where he was. Sierra said, "Heaven." Saige asked if he was coming back. Sierra said he died from cancer and is not coming back. During this time tears just streamed down my face and I couldn't speak or breathe. She just got it......She then looked at me with those big brown eyes and asked me if I was going to die. Thanks a lot Biggest Loser. Could have used some warning! Would have taken the girls to Mr. Biggs or the pool or Sate City. Any place but here......that's for sure.
Don't worry. I regained composer and was able to have my heart to heart with my six year old about cancer, mommy's medicine and how we (meaning God, mommy and super doc)are NOT going to let that happen! WOW! Needing prayers for Saige today. Thank you...

Who is ready for summer? .....I am! What a beautiful day today was. I am sooo very tired but content and at peace right now. Had some nausea this morning but was able to contain it with food and Ativan. Enjoyed a doggy play date.....I mean Bailey enjoyed it. She is passed out right now. The adult company was really good too! Then went to dinner with some very good friends. Ate like there was no tomorrow.

I have to take a moment here to say a heart felt thank you from myself and the family. Everyday I realize how blessed I am. Thank you for the meals, thoughtful cards, help with my house-hold chores, laundry, extra care for my children. I could go on and on and on. Most importantly I am so grateful for all the prayers. I feel the Lord has been walking this journey with me.....every step of the way. I am just so thankful my prayer worriers remind Him that I continue to need Him.

My sister is coming out this weekend. We plan on partying like rock stars! Right......maybe more like old girl and cancer chick. But it should be fun! Love to you all!

interesting day...

Been kinda cooped up and was bound and determined to get out of the house. Woke up this morning....kinda late(8:30am) and came down for breakfast. First thing first, nausea hit, treated it with compozine. Then I was pleasantly surprised by my post chemo diarrhea. If you would have turned me upside down it would be just like visiting Old Faithful! Took some Imodium to remedy that. In addition, my hands and feet are on FIRE! Well, I showered( I know major accomplishment) and took my kids to Walmart. I know, crazy. We shopped for a starter bra for my ten year old....hee, hee and got haircuts. Later, we took the kids to see the Toothe Fairy......fairly cute movie. Came home, napped and took more nausea medication. Now I am going back to bed.....nighty night.

Good news again, give me more!

I try to blog the day of chemo......but chemo did not end so well. Nausea and hand pain started half way into the oxolaplatin. I had great company...unfortunately she had to talk to me through a pink emesis bucket.....yumm, yumm! When she arrived at my house all I could think was that if I gave her a hundred dollars, maybe she will head west instead of east. I actually wanted to play hooky from chemo....top down, sun beaming. Granted, we did hear some good news yesterday. My CEA's went down to 8.8.....yay! But so did my platelets and white count. We scheduled a PET scan for the 26th and may decide to go with a more direct approach to handle these tumors, therefore nixing the chemo. Lets all pray this will be the plan.....chemo is kicking my @$$. That's it from this end....tootles!

hello!

I had trouble making dinner(because of the cold sensitivity) but was perfectly able to mow the lawn. How ridiculous is that? I am going to work tomorrow. It will be interesting to see how my fingers react to all the activity and hand washing. I hope it all goes well......I am feeling well and not looking forward to chemo on Wednesday.. ....It is interesting how the cancer doesn't seem to effect me, it's the chemo that shuts me down. At least I think that is how it is working. During the time that I feel well, I just want to squeeze in so much: spend time with family and friends, enjoy the sun on my face, watch the flowers grow, go to work.....I hope my girls remember the good days more than the yucky ones. This blog has turned into a good reflection of what we are going through. I have started printing it off for them in hopes they will remember this time in a positive light. I suppose it will help.....thanks for listening to all my babble!

I am still here....

I can not believe how long it has been since my last post! I am soooooo very sorry! Since my last post I have started a Restoration Yoga class two days a month, spent a lot of time sitting on my front porch reading my book and finally enlisted a friend to come over and help me with some "cold" cleaning and another to make me super healing soup. My pitty party was short lived yet therapeutic and the comments made by all of you have been uplifting and well appreciated. The tips of my fingers are still numb but the don't hurt as much.....interestingly enough my lips are numb as well and crunch up into a pucker when they touch something too cold. That is a mighty pretty picture! Never mind the fact that I am craving Otter Pops! Walgreen's has called me three times for refills on my compazine......I have not turned them down! So, now I have extra in case they ever run out again.....Ha! I still have hair and actually need a hair cut, unfortunately my scalp has become very sensitive.......not sure if I trust anyone to be combing and cutting my hair at this point......I wear a hat often because the front has thinned out so much my scalp gets sunburned easily. Gratefully, I am feeling very strong! Not to jinx myself but, I am certain my cancer is melting away. I go for chemo this Wednesday and will receive my results from my CEA's and then will plan my next Pet Scan. The girls and John are doing great and seem to be taking things in stride. While Saige was at a birthday party Sierra and I went shopping for summer clothes. It was nice mommy/daughter time. Sierra said she wants to go to San Diego this summer. I told her this summer may be filled with Colorado weekenders and chemo so San Diego will have to wait. She actually said, "I don't like you having cancer and having to go for chemo every other week..........it gets in the way of our vacation time." I laughed so hard my tumors fell out! I have been saying that all along.....sure does get in the way of MY social time! Love to you all!

My pitty party

Not sure why.....but I am down in the dumps today. My fingers still hurt and for some reason I started feeling nauseated again after lunch. Also, today's cold wind sends shooting pain through my nostrils and sinus area. Maybe that is why my nose is bleeding more today than normal? Normal. Ha! I would probably start crying right now just to get it off my chest......unfortunately, my tears cause severe pain around my eyeballs. Neuropathy of the eyeball......that's pretty funny. Maybe not. Now I just sound like a big whiner.......I want to go back to Moab. Maybe I need to go to work......oh, wait. My fingers cramp around writing utensils. Taking report would be quite the challenge. OK. I am done feeling sorry for myself. I am going to find something productive to do........

we're gettin back to norm

Things are getting better here. I was able to hook up with a girlfriend for lunch and then a nice walk at Red Rocks. The weather was to die for! Seriously! If you were stuck inside.....I am sooooo very sorry! The cold sensitivity continues to linger in the fingers and throat....although it continues to improve each and every day. I was thrilled to be able to wear my Easter dress to church and brunch on Sunday. I had blue knit gloves with snow flakes on them.....that seemed to match my dress perfectly!
I am surprisingly very tired tonight. I am waiting for the bath hog (Sierra) to get out so I can get in and soak. And then maybe some reading. I have had to hold off for a few days on reading since it hurt my hands too much just to hold up a book up. So, tonights the night! Later!

rough week....

can't post much. i am typing with right pinky finger because hands hurt too bad. i had rough couple of days. meds were changed w/o my knowledge.....not helping the nausea and just making me sleep....waking up still very nauseated. went in for tune up at rocky mountain cancer center since i wasn't eating or drinking. hoping today will show improvements. after searching the city....we are able to get my compozine pills.....more to come

Feeling pretty crappy

I will have to keep this very short. My hands hurt so much and I am really nauseated. My doctor prescribed Phenergan instead of my usual Compazine for my nausea. It works as long as I am asleep. I have been asleep almost all day.......and I plan on getting to bed soon. I think I have to chat with the Doctor about this..... this is definitely a 180 degree turn from Thursday. Yuck!