new normal

Today I went to the girls school to assist Sierra's class in decorating for their teachers surprise birthday party. These little fourth graders planned the whole thing with cake, drinks, decorations......everything. I questioned whether it would actually be a success. It was amazing to watch these kids work together. They were brimming with excitement and joy! I am so proud of them......I believe Miss. teacher of the year was overwhelmed with pride as well. I then ran Bailey to the vet. She has yet another hematoma. It is on the other ear and needed to be surgically drained. She is at the hospital for tonight and maybe tomorrow night.....my poor baby. You should have seen her face.......I was the traitor and she was going to prison. I then ran a couple more errands, picked up the kids, ate dinner and kissed my husband good bye for work. Why do I tell you all this? It felt sooooo normal. I like that.....have a great weekend!

I took my own advice and went for a massage today. Oh yeah...it was so good and much needed. Had a little cancer free day today and it was quite enjoyable. Massage, lunch and a movie all in the company of my sister. I know for a fact that I will sleep like a baby tonight. I am pretty tired. I am having a tough time with aromas though. I actually had to hide in my room while dinner was cooking. The smell alone turns me off and destroys my appetite. It is awful. At first it was just the smell of baking sweats and now it is everything cooking. I tried stuffing my nose with tissue but now I just drink chamomile tea in hopes it will help.......I think it does. Any other ideas out there? I am finding it is easier to eat the meals that are brought for us or out at a restaurant. That could get awful expensive though...don't you think? By the way, thanks for all the supportive comments. I look forward to them everyday! Oh! And they all had icecream again tonight.......I got celery stuffed with cream cheese dip. hmmmmm.

Work was great

So, I went to work yesterday! It was AWESOME! They were slave drivers! I did ALL the work...ok, you all know the truth. The girls I work with are so supportive and wonderful and I love them! It was so great to see everyone and catch up. By the time I left spirits were high but fatigue set in. Amazing how weak my abdominal muscles are! That is what I need to work on so I think it is time to add some yoga to my work outs......and weekly massages, don't you think? ;) Hmmmm.

Yay for today!

Honestly, today was so good I almost forgot yesterday really sucked! I was able to run a few errands and get a few things done. About 3:00 I petered out and had to come home to rest. But guess what!? I am going to attempt a few hours at work tomorrow! I am so excited about this....you have no idea! Just adding a bit of normalcy to my diet of crazyness. Yay for me! By the way....my whole family is sitting down with ginormous bowls of icecream.....and Saige thinks it's pretty funny. My lovely mother made an offer of a lifetime.......warm melted icecream. yum yum!

This sucks!

If I remember correctly, the weekend after chemo was the roughest last time...and it pretty much sucks this time. I am having waves of nausia uncontrolled with medication, a touch bit more emotional. I hate this cancer and I hate the burden it places on friend and family. I hate the nausia and I hate the smell of food. I guess I am a little grumpy today. The numbness in my fingers and toes really bother me and the charlie horses on my calfs sure do smart. I am really tired this time, too. I am happily climbing into bed by 8:00. Isn't that crazy? Well there is the scoop and now I ma going to lay down and chill for a few.

Chemo week

My goodness am I tired! I think I could easily sleep till next week!. Nausea has not been too bad so far but I have a whole slew of new symptoms. My toes and fingers are numb and tingly and my hands and calves cramp up when in use. It is very strange when you actually have to pry your own fingers back open. Sierra is sitting next to me right now and seems to find this funny. I do to actually.....I had three doctors appointments today. One with Dr. Gyno to have a pap smear and ultrasound because of some irregular bleeding. Sorry guys....I'm sure you don't want to be alerted of IRREGULAR BLEEDING! Stop squirming in your seats. Then I went to see my surgeon and was officially cleared to go back to work. I know it sounds crazy, but I have to give it a try. Then I bee-bopped my little but down to the cancer center (4 hours early) and asked them to teach me how to remove my own CADD pump so I didn't have to return at 5:00pm to have them do it. I had to assure the nurse that I, too, was a nurse and fully capable of flushing my own lines and removing a teeny tiny needle from my port. I won! I love it when I win! Now i have to stop typing because my fingers are curling up......darn little things! Hope yu all have a great weekend. Get out and enjoy the weather!

chemo day #2

What did I tell you! Chemo took ALL day for crying out loud! Got home at 6:00 pm. Good news it went smoothly, no problems at all. I feel pretty good all things are considering. The intense cold sensation is definitely worse than the last time. I can't drink out of the tap unless it is warm and after 1 minute of standing outside my finger tips started reacting with severe tingling/burning sensation. Weird....They started me on magnesium and calcium drips before and after chemo session to minimise neuropathy....still in trial stages but whatever works! To ease all your minds......I did not drink any cold milk tonight! I'm a quick learner don't you think?

chemo day

Anyone want to go FOR me? Anyone? Anyone? I don't feel like going today....don't know why....I thought for sure someone would want to fill in for me....just this once. Then I will throw some skis in the car and hit Mary Jane! Now that sounds like fun! Oh well....I guess that can wait till next year. It should be a shorter day at the office of "many poisons". Granted, last time it was only supposed to last for 4 hour and it turned into 8. This week it is a 3 hour infusion then home with my pump. So lets double that and you can expect me home around.......5:00pm. Just in time for dinner. Pray that it goes smoothly!

Good news!

Well I have great news! Both my sisters have had their colonoscopy and they both came back clean as a whistle! Praise God! My brother will get his some time soon after the 10th of February. Please pray for good results for him.
I have been in a funk today but accomplished so much. Kids were gone so I put Mom and Rich and John to work. My house is so CLEAN! I am loving it! I am not sure why I am such a funk though. The past three days I have been feeling almost normal. Tomorrow is the last day before I get hit with chemo again. I know.......quite the contradiction from my last post. I am aware that my thoughts and emotions swing all over the place. The one feeling that remains strongly is my opinion of this cancer.......it is stupid. Yes. I have reverted back to a four year old and actually used the word stupid. But how else can you describe cancer?

God give me patience

Today has been the best day! I actually feel very good and have not had any nausea. John and I actually climbed to the top of Dakota Ridge. The weather was great along with the company. I had to stop and rest only three times......which is not bad since my leg muscles have magically disappeared. It is so wrong how much time we spend building muscle and how little time it takes for it to vanish! I am experiencing a very strong sense of impatience. What I mean is, if I walk everyday then running should be better, or if chemo works every other week maybe it will work faster if I just suck it up and have treatment every week! I know this is irrational as well as not possible.......Most people would think because I feel so good right now that I would be dreading chemo, when in fact this off week is making me impatient. I almost feel like we are wasting time. Stupid huh? Well, the good news is I haven't lost my hair....yet. Hope you all are having a great weekend!

Idiot!

Ok! So, I am such an idiot! I have been started on a new type of medication because of my motion sickness. This medication comes as a patch that is placed behind the ear (scope patch) and as a nurse I am very familiar with this patch.......and I still touched it and rubbed my right eye.....twice! I now have a headache and my right pupil is larger than my left. Brilliant! Has it helped the nausea? I drove to Colorado Mills to join the mall walkers and got nauseated. My drive home was better though....hmmmm. No barfing...guess that's a good thing! I have been awake since 4 am therefore plan on going to bed at 8 sharp. I am exhausted! It is supposed to be nice all weekend so I plan on doing a lot of walking outside. I am released to go back to work on the 25th so i need to get my @#$ in gear! At this point i will struggle with princess shifts.....grrrrr!

Quick updates

Yesterday I went in to see the doctor and have my blood work drawn again. My CBC is all normal again, thanks to a couple of units of blood! Everything seems to be on track.....hopefully. After my doctor appointment I went to Red Rocks to walk the amphitheater. I am trying to get some exercise and build up my strength. Rumor has it that if you eat healthy and exercise the chemo will be 30% more effective. I'll take those odds in my favor! Never mind the pure joy of just being outside in beeeeaaaauuuuutiful Colorado! Today is too cold so I will walk the mall. My sister left yesterday......I was pretty sad about that. She did promise she would come back out soon. I've got Mom and Richie here to boss around now........hmmmmmm, could I get used to this? Probably not but I sure do appreciate all the help! I still get pretty tired.....pretty quickly.Pray for increased strength and stamina today!

What a great day! I had very little nausea and more energy to boot! Unfortunately, I had some emotional moments: my sisters makeup was missing from the bathroom where she had moved in and set me off to tears realizing she was leaving so soon. Getting my eyebrows threaded made me cry too. I think the latter would make anybody cry! Christa and I made several laps around the mall as official "mall lappers" and then went for lunch to replenish my walked off calories. After, we went home to sit out in our camping chairs by the street enjoying company from all who would come along with the sun. Wow! Wasn't the weather beeeeaaaauuuutiful? Tomorrow is Sierra's birthday. She is turning ten. Tonight we wrapped up John's old phone for her to take over as her own. Regardless that the phone had a big hole in the screen from whatever John sat on......or maybe he ran over it with the truck, he's good at that you know. She was thrilled to have it! What a stinkin' sweetheart! So, when I pulled out a brand new, shiny, red phone for her and said she could have that one instead.....we all balked when she said no. No? No. I am happy with this phone. Hmmmm. Maybe we did something right after all as parents. After much encouragement, she realized the bright, red, new phone was actually for her. She is soooo cute! Hope you all had a great day as well!

It has been a few days since I have posted, and i am very sorry for that. I am feeling fairly well but by the time I am able to sit down to write i am wiped out! I am having some nausea, very little vomiting and a whole lot of fatigue. Took my first nap today in a long time and woke up drooling. think I was tired? Hmmmm. I am craving things I can't have, Like big glasses of cold milk and ice water. Not a whole lot of anything sounds good to me, so I eat whatever they come up with. when I say "they" I mean the Food Nazi's! Although, without them I wouldn't eat at all. I will update some more later-Love -Cynthia

pictures of hair cuts

Here are the before and after picture of all our haircuts. Cute ay?

Infussion day

What a bloody long day! I received 2 units of blood today and was hoping for an instant boost of energy. Maybe tomorrow I will show huge improvements in that area. Otherwise I am feeling pretty good! I sure do have some major 'chemo brain" going on! I can't seem to think straight and my memory is jacked up! It is so strange! Don't ask me anything hard...ok? Later-

First Chemo day done!

So, I showed up for chemo at 10:00 and didn't get home till after 7pm. I came home a very hungry caterpillar.....ate through some chicken, mash potatoes, cornbread and then attempted a brownie. Can't have brownies without ice cold milk.....oh yea! That is where I dropped the ball. Sucked down the milk and was in instant pain. They weren't kidding about this cold thing. All in all, chemo went very well. I had great nurses and suffered very little side effects(so far). But it is the little things we have to appreciate. Oh, by the way, PET scan came back showing only the three tumors. Now lets kick some cancer a$%! We can all rest well tonight! Love you all!

Last day before start of chemo

Monday we were talking about getting out and enjoying Tuesday for the last day before chemo. Unfortunately, we spent the afternoon at the doctors office instead. I don't think my tumors enjoyed being radioactive! I spiked a temperature at 6 pm, at 2 am, at 8 am and again at 11am. Crap! I didn't have anymore energy left after that! I called the doctor to see what they thought, for peace of mind mostly. They had me come in for blood work and to see the nurse practitioner. The only blood work that came back worrisome was my hematocrit at 24 and my hemoglobin at 8. This is down from 29/9 from the day before. Tomorrow we will recheck it and decide on whether or not to transfuse some blood. I almost hope they do.....this may give me more energy. PET scan results should come back tomorrow as well. Big day for the Curro house! Keep us in your prayers.

PET scan day

As to be expected, I did not receive any information today :(. I should be getting the results the same day I start chemo.........that's not cool. The girl who got me started was the same one that drew my blood work last time. I walked back into the room and the first thing she noticed was my super cute hair cut. I then showed her my super cute port, and we celebrated with some more blood work! Yea! Then I had to drink this super yummy barium drink....ok, it really was not super yummy, it tasted like a whole cup of strawberry flavored Milk of Mag. Mmmmm. The radiology tech came to get me. We stopped by the puzzle table to let the gang know I would be an hour and a half and to grab my coat to go outside to the mobile PET scan. It looks like a tractor trailer with fancy writing on the side. Inside there were 2 chairs side by side with a half wall between them. The tech put me in one of the recliners and hit me with the radioactive glucose via my port, flushed me and then told me to kick back and relax for 45 minutes. I threw in my Ipod and did just that. Can't do much more in a room the size of my closet. After 45 minutes she came and got me, had me put my coat on to go back into the cancer center to pee and have the needle removed from my awesome port and have it properly SASH'd by the tech and back out to the trailer we went. The scan itself took about 45 minutes. I was gradually pulled through the doughnut while I jammed out to my Ipod and then I was done. I went inside the cancer center to fetch my sisters and John and dug through the candy bowl for a box of very much needed Nerds, man was I hungry! By the way, I am not to be hanging out with any infants for 24 hours since I am radioactive so don't bring any babies over until tomorrow night! Love you all and i really appreciate all the feedback!

Fabulous! Just fabulous!

What an amazing day! This is the best day I have had as of yet! It feels so good to get out and move around. I find I am the most uncomfortable when I am standing still. My core muscle are definately weeker than most but we are working on it. Church was awesome and so is our Lord! Tomorrow is the PET scan and I am feeling more at peace with it. Keep me in your prayers, they are working! Love you!

I have to do a quick add on. Just so you all know I did the Wii fit test and received my official Wii fit age. According to the Wii.....I am a whopping 30 years old! hahahah. Tumors, surgery and all and I still kick A#$! Unfortunately, I was up from 2 to 5:30 with hip pain and lots of aches. I should have avoided the Hula hoop game I just know it! Luckily John was home to massage my hips for almost the entire time! Ahhhh. What's that? You all want to know what John's Wii age is? You will have to ask him :). Love you all!

Happy New Year!

Can I be the first to say I am so very glad it is 2010? No more 2009.......woohoo! sorry I missed a few days of blogging, but I had a couple of really nice days and I enjoyed them with family. New Years Eve day was spent with all the girls getting short hair do's. It was a lot of fun and we look pretty cute too! Interesting how I was the last to get mine done and at that very moment (with only the first major cut done) somebody walked up to me and asked us what the occasion was.....my hair dresser spoke up very quickly saying it was just "sisters day" while Christa and I stood there with our mouths open....to the floor. She rocks! That night we had dinner and then played games. At 10:00 pm we all rang in the New Year and I then went to bed. At the end of the day, I reflect on how well I feel. I continue to need rest through out the day and plenty of rest at night, but I savor how (almost) normal it feels......and it is almost saddening that next week it could all change. So all I can do is find joy in all (almost) normal moments! The tumors can't take that from me!