Very emotional day....

Emotionally I was not at my best today. First, my Mom and my Richie went home. I was very sad to see them go but at least I now know I can handle this........ only because of the wonderful support system I have here in Colorado. I then took the kids to school and Bailey to the vet to have her ear looked at again. Just so you know, Deer Creek animal clinic is amazing, wonderful, supportive and has done great work with my girl. I don't know what I would have done without them during this time. My husband then called about my CEA results. There was a misunderstanding with the values from the hospital and the values in the clinic which I only knew at this time......so I started crying. So now Dr. Kushel was caring for me during my emotional roller coaster. When I got home I called the @#$%^ center to chat with somebody about my results. I thought I had sorted out all the worries surrounding the fact that my CEA's almost doubled, but when the nurse says things like, "Oh ya, I can understand your concern......might have to change chemo regime.....and, I will have to have Dr. Jotte call you since this is not what we would like to see....." . All my fears erupted after that. AHHHHHHHH! So, I cried, said hateful things and claimed my "this is not fair!" card. I have also decided I hate the word sick, and the phrase "life is too short...". I have plans....big plans and they start today. No number is ever going to tell me I am too sick to live my life to the fullest! Love you guys!