Last night I went to the Pacu Christmas party and had such a wonderful time......partied like a rock star I tell you! Ok, actually I was home in bed by nine fifteen, woke up at four with a temperature and pain. I kept thinking, "This is my form of a hang-over, and those of you enjoying all that wine will feel my pain by morning." Had to laugh at myself. Regardless, it was so worth it to see everyone!
Woke up this morning, again, realizing that I still had cancer. I am finding myself doing that a lot. Waking up and hoping it was all a bad dream. The kids were still at their sleep-over. I came down stairs and sat on the couch in such a funk. And then it all hit! I was so pissed off at Dr. Oz and all his #$%&* anti cancer advice and all I could think of was taking everything off of the Christmas tree and throwing it against the wall just to watch it shatter......epitime of how I felt.....shattered. I can not believe the extreme emotional swings I am feeling! I know I am going to have more days like these.....so thanks for listening! Can't say it enough.....love you all!
Cancer sucks! I hate that you are going through this! Cancer sucks! My friends ask me about you and that is as articulate as I can get... It really sucks.
ReplyDeleteI love you!!!
I find myself waking up and realizing that it is real too. I think about you --and sometimes the reality hits me in the face at the worst possible time. It is horrific - so there is grief. But there is also hope. There is love. There is life. I wish I could be there to cry with you and to laugh with you.
ReplyDeleteYou are more than entitled to be angry and break things. It might help you feel better to let it out. I would stay away from the Christmas tree though! You are strong, you can beat this. We are all here to help you kick this cancers A@&!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Cynthia. It does suck, and there's no better way to put it. But, there is hope, so hang in there and keep that hope alive! You are strong and you can fight it. If there is anything at all any of my family can do, we are here for you, just let us know. Debbie
ReplyDeleteYou are allowed to skip any of the stages, visit the stages in any order you please, or come back to any stages as you need! We love you and are here for you! You can even come over here and break things and blame it on the two year olds. ;)
ReplyDeleteHello My Friend ~ I am right with you about being pissed, thinking this is a bad dream and the emotions...I hate this for you. Call when you need to vent. I am with you on the Christmas party too, I was home and in bed by 9:45 from my work party last night...I have no excuses though...no lamp shade on my head last night! Sending a hug ~ Sara
ReplyDeletewe love you..... Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them
ReplyDeleteI just recieved an email about Dr Oz's ultimate health test....F#ck*r!!! When I get out there we soooo need to find a place to break shit!!! I haven't been mad yet just extemely sad and you know me that rarely happens but being 1100 miles away makes me feel helpless when all I want to do is help you beat the crap out of cancer. I can't wait to see you on the 24th:) LOVE YOU!!
ReplyDeleteBeing this far away definitely is the most difficult. leaving was the most difficult thingI have ever had to do. Kick it's @##. I will be there when ever you need/want. Just ask. remember I do cook fairly well but not as good as you! Love you always,Mom
ReplyDelete